Commitment is the Key

 

It is both sad and humorous realizing how uncomfortable people get when you mention the word "commitment;" but commitment is required in successful careers, life endeavors, spirituality/faith and even marriage. If you ask a couple who has been married 50+ years, "What is the key to a long marriage?" They will likely reply with the word "commitment."

The Bible speaks of commitment in many passages. Consider the instructions to "...have no other gods before ME," to "be doers of the Word and not hearers only," to "not go after other gods," to "diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God," and for "husbands to love their wife as God loves HIS Church."

Let me offer 4 Conditions that Weaken Commitments:

1. Determining morality by the majority -- 

The majority of Israelites wanted to return to Egypt; the majority of people felt comfortable living in the sinful society of Sodom & Gomorrah; the majority chose not to go into the ark & died; the majority voted to crucify Jesus. Majorities are wrong the majority of the time; because they operate based on popular "opinion" and usually follow the path of least resistance. Commitments based on comforts are weak.

2. Changing your theology, rather than your lifestyle -- 

Rather than aligning their lifestyle with the teachings of Scripture, people will often choose to change churches, denominations or counselors; in search of someone who will accept & condone their sinful behavior. Remember, those who truly love you will speak truth into your life; not merely tickle your ears. Having a weak theology results in weak commitments.

3. Assuming a delay in consequences equals God's approval -- Eccl. 8:11 TLB

Quote from John Fisher -- "...if a dog having a great stone bound about his neck is cast down from a high tower, he feels no weight of that stone, as long as he is falling down; but when he is once fallen to the ground, he is burst all to pieces by that weight." Sin is fun for a season; but "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that will he also reap." - Gal 6:6-7. Assuming that God would EVER condone sinful behavior certainly reveals a weak commitment toward spiritual maturity.

4. Becoming tolerant of sin --

The way that Christians succumb to sin, is similar to the proverbial frog that gets boiled in the kettle. Sin takes over gradually and we often don't even realize it, until it is too late. It only takes a little leaven to ruin the whole loaf of bread (Gal. 5:9). Being tolerant of sin in our lives is a symptom of a weak level of commitment.

Now, let me offer 4 Principles that Strengthen Commitments (Especially as it relates to marriage):

1. Understand that conflicts are part of marriage --

1 Cor. 7:28b NIV - "...but those who marry will face many troubles in this life..." Too often, couples try to avoid conflict, rather than learning how to resolve conflicts. Learning to listen to and respect differing opinions is one of the greatest ways to gain knowledge and one of the lost arts in today's "cancel culture" movement.

2. Working through is better than walking out -- 

1 Cor. 7:27 NIV - "Are you married? Do not seek a divorce." Walking out is easy, but the baggage follows you out the door and into the next relationship. Working things through takes much more work, but it is much more beneficial and satisfying in the long run.

3. Rights are relinquished at the marriage altar --

1 Cor. 7:4 and Phil 2:3-4 reveal that couples give-up their rights, when they enter the covenant relationship of marriage. Selfishness is most often the root cause of broken relationships and selflessness is most often the key to marriages surviving for the long-haul.

4. Choose holiness over happiness -- 

Nowhere in the Bible does God command us to be happy, but HE does instruct us to be holy. In general, those who pursue holiness will usually find happiness is a natural benefit of living in obedience to God's commands.

After reading these principles based on Scripture and realizing that there are many, many, many more where those came from; let's "commit" to being fully-devoted followers of Jesus and fully-devoted partners in our marriage. Let's love our spouse, the way that Christ loves HIS Church.

Habits of Happy Hubbies

The COVID-19 pandemic is certainly impacting people physically, but it also impacting people emotionally. The statistics are showing that interest & inquiries for divorce are up 34% from the the same quarter of the previous year. 20% of couples married 5 months or less sought divorce, compared to 11% in 2019. Some are estimating that divorce rates will continue to rise as quarantines and work-from-home situations continue. 

So, I want to offer 12 "Habits of Happy Hubbies" that can be helpful to all married couples:

1. EMBRACE YOUR SEASON

Stop looking ahead or looking back. Embrace your present season and make the most of every moment. 

2. COMMUNICATE KINDLY

Sticks and stone's can break bones AND words can hurt very deeply! Spouses often say things to each other that they would never say to their employer, pastor or even their friends. Choose your words wisely.

Prov. 25:11-5 - A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

3.  LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS 

Too many marriages end due to the fighting caused by poor financial decisions. Couples MUST learn to live within their means, pay cash, build credit, save and set goals. While stuck in the house, consider taking a Dave Ramsey course online.

Eccl. 5:10 NLT - Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness! 

Matt. 6:24  - No man can serve two masters… you cannot serve God and money. 

4. COMPLIMENT; DON’T CRITICIZE 

      No one likes to be criticized. Continual criticism has a devastating effect on a marriage. 

1 Thess 5:11 NIV - Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

Eph. 4:29 - Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

5.  CULTIVATE SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Couples should find ways to worship, serve, pray, study and grow together!

Heb. 10:24 – And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works. 

6.   LIVE IN LOVE

      Look at this verse, as it reveals what true love looks like and should be the goal in every Christian marriage.

1 Cor. 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 

7.   GIVE PREFERENCE 

Preferring your spouse is a simple way to show your care. Selfishness will destroy a marriage, while selflessness will deepen the love relationship.

Phil 2:3-4 - Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. ⁴ Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 

8.   GIVE HONOR

Honor is defined as giving the highest respect or granting esteem. Spouses should honor one another; and look at the last part of the verse -- if we fail to honor our spouse... our prayers could be hindered!

1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.  

9.   DRESS FOR SUCCESS

      During this time, of quarantine and working at home, so many people have stopped dressing-up for work. Don't forget that your spouse deserves to see you at your best. Practice personal hygiene, shave, fix your hair, put away the sweat pants, and ladies, feel free to wear some make-up while work from home.

10.  NURTURE INTIMACY

Intimacy goes far beyond just the physical relationship in marriage. Strive to cultivate spiritual and emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Heb 13:4 - Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled…  Sadly, this is the only verse some men ever memorize! :)  

11.  SHARE THE LOAD 

Working from home or being quarantined obviously increases the chores around the house. Share the load, pitch-in, and help your spouse. Those acts of kindness usually pay-off BIG! Also, during this time of anxiety, layoffs, financial uncertainty; share openly and bear each others burdens.

Gal. 6:2 - Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 

12.  RESOLVE CONFLICTS QUICKLY 

Holding onto anger NEVER ends well. No one wins -- everyone loses!  Settle the matter quickly and try to do so before going to bed. No sense losing a night's sleep and carrying conflict over to the next day.

Eph. 4:26-27 - Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil.

ULTIMATE GOAL

Eph. 5:24-28 - As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

Jan. 2021 - Celebration & Praise Report

 The Psalmist knew of God’s goodness as evidenced by the words he penned in Psalm 145:6-7, “Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts, And I will declare Your greatness. They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness, And shall sing of Your righteousness.” As we look back over the month of January and the start of a brand new year, we want to take a moment to remember God’s goodness to the various ministries of Grace Church.

Celebrations & Praises during January in the Church:

• We celebrate a person who came to salvation through a Gospel tract and various other stories of people whose lives are being changed by the Gospel.
• Many guests worshipped with us in January, and we have a good number of people expressing interest in baptism and church membership.
• We emphasized “Sanctity of Life” Sunday on Jan. 17 and hosted a baby shower for the moms who choose life through Hope Women’s Centers. A special “thanks” to our Grace family for responding with such generosity!
• We recognized School Choice Sunday and reminded folks that Highlands Christian Academy is a GREAT choice, helps students develop a Christian world-view, and is more affordable than most people think.
• Our Grace family experienced a wonderful time of corporate worship in our recent “Night of Worship."
• Pastor Craig continued teaching through the Book of John and laying foundations for personal discipleship in our youth ministry.
• The Spanish ministry started the renovations to the Upper Room, which will double their meeting space, add an office for Pastor Samuel and create storage space. Almost all of the work is being done by volunteers, and they hope to finish in the next couple of weeks!
• The Haitian ministry has now reopened all of their meeting times and returned to their normal pre-COVID schedule. This is a true blessing and folks continue to return to the campus.
• The Brazilian ministry hosted a yard sale to benefit missions on Saturday, Jan. 30 and it was followed by a time of fellowship.

There are also many things to celebrate in our school ministry: 

• Martha Canott recently told of a student who shared a Gospel tract resulting in a parent being saved.
• Monica Colon shared about a student who came to her stating that she wanted to be “born again.” The young lady prayed the sinners prayer and invited Jesus to be her Savior.
• Ruth Pirrie just launched a HUGE marketing campaign for the school, which includes a new website design and much, much more. You will begin seeing a whole new look in the weeks ahead.
• HCA has also entered the membership process with ACSI - Association of Christian Schools International. Our team continues to move HCA to new heights and we are already well-underway with enrollment for 2021-2022.
• Mr. Larry Smith has been chosen to serve as our new Head of School in the 2021-2022 school year, as Dr. Lawrence will be leaving us to serve as the Executive Vice-President at Louisiana Baptist University. We wish both of these men great success in the roles for which God has called them to and prepared them for.

Other January Blessings:

• Our missionary to Haiti, Kevin Falde, broke ground on a new church building this month.
• The Falde’s ministry also saw 600 people at their medical clinic, and 50 came to know Christ in the first 2 days!
• And get this… a dear friend of the Falde's, Bro. Samuel and his family, have started attending Grace and he has already jumped into serving with our band and worship team! Welcome Jacques family!
• We were also blessed through our Christmas offering that not only helped us “catch up” on missions giving, but even propelled us ahead of budget! Thank you for your faithfulness in supporting our missionary partners.

God continues to shower His blessings on our Grace & Highlands family! We just wanted to provide you with a brief report of “some” of the things HE is doing through you and your faithful support of this ministry.

God's Design for Marriage

The premise to this post is that marriage is God's idea and the outline for marriage is given in Scripture. We live in a world in which marriage has been politicized, downplayed, attacked and even "redefined" for the better part of four decades. 

So let's go back to basics. If we desire to gain insight regarding marriage, we cannot look to politicians, courts or culture; instead, we must look to God and His Word. Realizing that God is the Master Architect of marriage, let's take a minute to see what God recorded in His Word pertaining to the topic of marriage.

In the Garden of Eden, during the days of creation, it was God Who recognized is was not good for man to be alone (Gen. 1:18a), so God determined to make a helper comparable to the man (Gen. 1:18b). Other Bible translations use the words: suitable, perfect and just right for the man. The woman was God's gift to the man to provide companionship, comfort and to complete him by bringing strength to his areas of weakness.  God put the man to sleep while He removed a rib and designed a perfect partner and lover for the man (Gen. 1:21-22).  I can only imagine what it was like when God presented (Eve to Adam) the bride to the bridegroom! He had never seen anything so beautiful, their love was so pure and their companionship ran so deep.

God gave instructions to the new couple that would serve as the blueprint and set the parameters for all marriages to come (Gen. 2:24).  He outlined the plan for construction as follows. First, a man is to leave his parents, which means to honor them; but to cut the apron strings and his new bride is to be his most important human relationship! This step is repeated in the New Testament in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, Ephesians 5:31, to name a few. The unity candle or unity sand ceremony is symbolic of the new household being formed. Problems will come if a spouse continually compares their partner to his/her parents and/or refuses to view their spouse as their priority human relationship.

Second, a man is to cleave to his spouse, which give the instruction that marriage is to be permanent. He is cling, hold close, secure and create a permanent bond with his wife. God's plan was and is one man, plus one woman for a lifetime!  That does not mean serial monogamy or one at a time... God said one for a lifetime. Why is this important? Because marriage is a picture of Christ's love for bride -- the Church! He said He will never leave His bride, He will never be unfaithful to His bride, and He will always be willing to forgive His bride. God even incorporated the story of Hosea and the love he had for his unfaithful bride, to give us a picture of how much Christ loves HIS Church. Men, you are instructed to love your wife that way, too (Eph. 5:25).

Third, the husband and wife are instructed to become one flesh. While this does apply to the physical union in marriage, it also goes much deeper. A husband and wife are to express intimacy both physically and emotionally. They are to exhibit unconditional love, to appreciate their differences, to communicate at a deeper level, to challenge each other to rise to their highest potential and to push each other to fulfill his/her dreams. God wants marriages to thrive; not merely to survive.

Inevitably, couples will experience some structural damage along the way and can head-off the deeper problems by doing some preventative spiritual maintenance (Gen. 3:1-6). The culture will throw lies at them and try to convince them that they are missing out on something. Like Eve, some will buy into the "myth of greener grass," only to find out it's greener only because there is more manure in the other field. Some will disobey God's plan for marriage and choose the way that seems right, only to discover it is the way of death. The responsibility of keeping the marriage and family on-track has been assigned to the husband/father. In the Garden of Eden, Adam stood silent as the serpent talked with Eve and ultimately Adam chose to engage in the same sin (Gen. 3:6b). It is my belief that many marriages could have been saved if only a godly husband would have simply stood-up, fulfilled his spiritual duty and led his family into the truths of Scripture. 

You may be at the phase in which your marriage needs a little "remodeling" (Prov. 24:3-4). It is possible to restore or rebuild your marriage to the point of flourishing.  Build your house with wisdom, establish order, make things right and stabilize your house on the firm foundation of God's Word. Proverbs 2:6 tells us that "the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding." There is no time like the present to use these tools and make your marriage overflow with satisfaction!

So, now it's time to complete the "Seller's Disclosure" or maybe even ask for an "appraisal." Assess what needs to be removed, sure-up weak areas and remodel areas that are outdated or maybe even dilapidated.  Is it time to restore some flare in your marriage with something simple like new paint? Is it time to address bigger problems or hidden damage inflicted by life's "termites?"  Homeowners can ignore the problems with their house and watch it fall down around them; or they can address the little things, before they become big things. Couples have the same choice in their marriage.

Go ahead... get started on that assessment by comparing your marriage to God's original design.