The premise to this post is that marriage is God's idea and the outline for marriage is given in Scripture. We live in a world in which marriage has been politicized, downplayed, attacked and even "redefined" for the better part of four decades.
So let's go back to basics. If we desire to gain insight regarding marriage, we cannot look to politicians, courts or culture; instead, we must look to God and His Word. Realizing that God is the Master Architect of marriage, let's take a minute to see what God recorded in His Word pertaining to the topic of marriage.
In the Garden of Eden, during the days of creation, it was God Who recognized is was not good for man to be alone (Gen. 1:18a), so God determined to make a helper comparable to the man (Gen. 1:18b). Other Bible translations use the words: suitable, perfect and just right for the man. The woman was God's gift to the man to provide companionship, comfort and to complete him by bringing strength to his areas of weakness. God put the man to sleep while He removed a rib and designed a perfect partner and lover for the man (Gen. 1:21-22). I can only imagine what it was like when God presented (Eve to Adam) the bride to the bridegroom! He had never seen anything so beautiful, their love was so pure and their companionship ran so deep.
God gave instructions to the new couple that would serve as the blueprint and set the parameters for all marriages to come (Gen. 2:24). He outlined the plan for construction as follows. First, a man is to leave his parents, which means to honor them; but to cut the apron strings and his new bride is to be his most important human relationship! This step is repeated in the New Testament in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, Ephesians 5:31, to name a few. The unity candle or unity sand ceremony is symbolic of the new household being formed. Problems will come if a spouse continually compares their partner to his/her parents and/or refuses to view their spouse as their priority human relationship.
Second, a man is to cleave to his spouse, which give the instruction that marriage is to be permanent. He is cling, hold close, secure and create a permanent bond with his wife. God's plan was and is one man, plus one woman for a lifetime! That does not mean serial monogamy or one at a time... God said one for a lifetime. Why is this important? Because marriage is a picture of Christ's love for bride -- the Church! He said He will never leave His bride, He will never be unfaithful to His bride, and He will always be willing to forgive His bride. God even incorporated the story of Hosea and the love he had for his unfaithful bride, to give us a picture of how much Christ loves HIS Church. Men, you are instructed to love your wife that way, too (Eph. 5:25).
Third, the husband and wife are instructed to become one flesh. While this does apply to the physical union in marriage, it also goes much deeper. A husband and wife are to express intimacy both physically and emotionally. They are to exhibit unconditional love, to appreciate their differences, to communicate at a deeper level, to challenge each other to rise to their highest potential and to push each other to fulfill his/her dreams. God wants marriages to thrive; not merely to survive.
Inevitably, couples will experience some structural damage along the way and can head-off the deeper problems by doing some preventative spiritual maintenance (Gen. 3:1-6). The culture will throw lies at them and try to convince them that they are missing out on something. Like Eve, some will buy into the "myth of greener grass," only to find out it's greener only because there is more manure in the other field. Some will disobey God's plan for marriage and choose the way that seems right, only to discover it is the way of death. The responsibility of keeping the marriage and family on-track has been assigned to the husband/father. In the Garden of Eden, Adam stood silent as the serpent talked with Eve and ultimately Adam chose to engage in the same sin (Gen. 3:6b). It is my belief that many marriages could have been saved if only a godly husband would have simply stood-up, fulfilled his spiritual duty and led his family into the truths of Scripture.
You may be at the phase in which your marriage needs a little "remodeling" (Prov. 24:3-4). It is possible to restore or rebuild your marriage to the point of flourishing. Build your house with wisdom, establish order, make things right and stabilize your house on the firm foundation of God's Word. Proverbs 2:6 tells us that "the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding." There is no time like the present to use these tools and make your marriage overflow with satisfaction!
So, now it's time to complete the "Seller's Disclosure" or maybe even ask for an "appraisal." Assess what needs to be removed, sure-up weak areas and remodel areas that are outdated or maybe even dilapidated. Is it time to restore some flare in your marriage with something simple like new paint? Is it time to address bigger problems or hidden damage inflicted by life's "termites?" Homeowners can ignore the problems with their house and watch it fall down around them; or they can address the little things, before they become big things. Couples have the same choice in their marriage.
Go ahead... get started on that assessment by comparing your marriage to God's original design.
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