Deacons #8 - The Deacon's Wife

Interesting that in 1 Timothy 3 the qualities of a deacon's wife are mentioned in addition to the requirements of a deacon. It would only be a reasonable expectation that the wife of a church leader should be a virtuous example for the women of the congregation. Too many pastors' wives want to be out in front, noticed, the center of attention, "co-pastoring" if you will; and the same is true of many deacons' wives. Many good men are either disqualified to serve (or should be) based on the character of their wife.

Notice the specific requirements pertaining to the deacon’s wife as stated in 1 Tim 3:11, “Likewise their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.”

o Reverent - Women of dignity, serious, and stately. Not “silly” or “giddy” women. Not those who speak for or control their husbands.
o Not slanderers or malicious gossips. Interesting that the Greek word for slanderer is “diabolos,” which is literally translated - “devil.” (cf. Matt 4:1).
o Not quarrelsome or cantankerous. You will recall that Paul mentioned the works of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21. Among the worst sins, you will find hatred, dissensions, and strife. These sins can be caused by improper use of the tongue. Sadly, too many deacons' wives (and pastors' wives) skillfully wield the weapon of the tongue to devour and destroy.
o Temperate – Level-headed. Not persuaded by outside influences, worldly trends, etc.
o Faithful in all things – Trustworthy toward her Lord, family, husband, and calling. Think about it… How can a woman who acts like Jezebel, dresses like a prostitute, murmers like Miriam, or covets like Sapphira, serve beside her deacon husband?

Today, it would behoove a church well to checkout a prospective deacon's and his wife's Facebook page. See what they talk about. What "friends" do they have? Do they engage in FB gossip? Do they make flippant comments or posts? Are they passive-aggressive in what they say, share, or like? Social media is often a tell-all that reveals the true heart of a person. Use modern technology to help determine the spiritual depth of someone, BEFORE you nominate them to serve in any leadership capacity.

Realize this... godly deacons’ wives can be a tremendous blessing to a church, but ungodly women can be a dreadful curse! Should a man serve in the office of Deacon if his wife fails to meet the requirements set down in the Scriptures? The answer is adamantly, “NO.” One of the greatest hindrances a church can ever experience is to have a deacon’s wife who fails to meet God’s requirements. Be sure to carefully consider a man’s wife, before you choose him to serve as a deacon.